A Thought…

Now that Rudy Giuliani has made it safe to diss lawyers again:

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that used car salesmen would have someone to look down upon.

Q: What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.

Q: Why don’t lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.

Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: Why don’t lawyers fear shark attacks while swimming?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One is a slimy scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other is a fish.

Small child: Daddy, can two people be buried in the same grave?
Her father: Why?
Child: Because this tombstone says, “HERE LIES A LAWYER AND AN HONEST MAN”