PDF::Table
v1.006 Released, 21 March 2024
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Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel
There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
’bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
And Hobbes was fond of his dram
And René Descartes was a drunken fart
“I drink, therefore I am.”
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed
— Philosopher’s Song, Monty Python’s Flying Circus
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Last updated Wed, 18 Jan 2023 at 8:19 AM