A Thought…

American Football
Team A scores touchdown — cut (to commercials).
Team A kicks point after — cut.
Team A kicks off and it’s a touchback — cut.
Team B attempts pass — the ruling on the field is a completed pass — play is challenged — cut.
Ten minutes and a split Supreme Court decision later, the ruling on the field stands.
Meanwhile the play is shown over and over again forwards and backwards at various speeds and including the shot taken from the blimp circling the field.
Team B scores a touchdown — play is called back due to a holding penalty — cut.
Team B has an injured player — after showing gruesome footage of the player’s leg being bent into a pretzel-like configuration — cut.
Return to scene at the field. While awaiting the medical crew to scrape the injured player off the field with a spatula, commentators bring up obscure statistics about how the home team usually scores an average of 3.6 points in the last two minutes of play in games on Thursday night under a full moon when the temperature is above freezing.
The injured player is removed from the field and referees meet for four minutes to figure out where to spot the ball and how much time is left on the clock. Head referee spends another three minutes explaining the infield fly rule or whatever other justification was used to make the call.
Team B lines up to kick a field goal — calls time out to stop the clock — cut.
Team B lines up to kick a field goal — Team A calls a time out to “ice” the kicker — cut.
Field goal is kicked — cut.
Kickoff is a touchback — cut.
Two minute — warning — cut.
Two minutes and thirty-two seconds of playing time has elapsed, meanwhile the smoke alarm has been going off for 30 minutes as dinner is burning in the oven.
And that is how the exciting game of American Football is played.

   — dflak, Non Sequitur comic letters